VISITING AN-AILING WET-NURSE* MOTHER

(Malay: *Ibu-Susuan)

It was sometime in August 2013 that my brother, who lives in Kuantan, sent me a message saying that my “wet-nurse” mother whom I used to call “Mak Gayah”, is ailing and wheel-chaired bound, and that she was asking for me. I felt sorry and I planned to go to Kuantan to visit her.

I remembered my late mother told me that when I was a baby I was frequently left with Mak Gayah whenever she went to wash clothes at the nearby stream. Mak Gayah lived nearby with her baby girl. One of those days, returning from her wash, my mother was surprised when she saw Mak Gayah was nursing me. When my mother asked her, she said it’s alright as she was ready to have me as her own son along with her baby girl. That incident continued and there was no way that it stopped.

That incident happened about more than 60 years ago and when we moved to our current home my Mak Gayah stayed around the same neighbourhood. As I grow up, my mother told me that my Mak Gayah is also my “mother” and her daughter is my younger sister. I used to go to her house and I am close to her daughter as my sister or “milk-sibling”. We went to school and grew up together as a brother and a sister would do. Beside this daughter, Mak Gayah later has two other younger children, who are then my younger brothers too. This is in accordance with the Islamic law that specifies a permanent family-like relationship between children nursed by the same woman, and that they grew together as youngsters. They and various specific relatives may not marry as they are deemed as mahram.

There was one occasion when I return home to visit my mother, I passed my Mak Gayah’s home and there was a crowd coming in and out of her house. I was shocked, stopped my car and rush to ask what happened. To my surprise, my Mak Gayah came to me and said that she was still in good health and that I might have thought she have passed away. She then took me to the kitchen area, introduced me to the others as her son, and later prepared drinks and some cakes for me as she used to do whenever I visited her.

Lately when I returned to my hometown, I did not see my Mak Gayah at her home and that her house seemed empty. When this news came to me only I realized that Mak Gayah is not well and she is staying with her children in Kuantan, about 250 km from Kuala Lumpur.

On Saturday, 23^rd November 2013, along with my wife, we traveled to Kuantan by the East-Coast Highway, a new road linking Kuala Lumpur and Kuantan in the east coast of Peninsula. It was a pleasant journey as we haven’t traveled for quite a while. We drove along the highway, taking our time while enjoying the sceneries.

The drive took about 3 hours, and we did stops at a few rest areas along the route to have some snacks and to see whatever new sold there. We reached Kuantan and registered ourselves at a hotel, took our lunch and have a short rest.

We went to her house at the address given by my brother, but there is no one at home. I thought of giving my Mak Gayah a surprise visit, but since no one was at home, I have to call around to get news on where my mother is. Later her son who is also my younger brother called to inform me that our mother was warded at the Kuantan Specialist Center, located at Jalan Teluk Sisek, Kuantan. I arrived at the hospital at about 3:00 pm, and when I entered the room, my Mak Gayah was still asleep, and no other persons were in the room. I was surprised to see her in that condition, and later when she woke up, she looked surprise to see me at her bedside. I was also wondering whether she still remember me, but when I told her that I am her “Atan”, my nickname that she is used to, she kept nodding and firmly hold my hand and stared at me as she haven’t seen me for quite sometime. I wiped her tears and I knew she took care of me when I was young. I have nothing else to offer to her except by reading some verses of the Quran, with hope that Allah blesses her with good health.

From Left: First glance at a very sick mother; Centre: My 83-years old Mak Gayah;
Right: Reading verses from the Quran, with hopes that Allah relieves her from her sickness.

Later in the evening, I left her with her daughter in-law and told her that I will visit her the next day before leaving for home. She seemed to understand what I told her and she looked happy to see me.

The next day before noon, I went to the hospital again to see Mak Gayah. She was attended by a doctor who then told me about my mother’s sickness and problems. I sympathized with her and I hope she would recover soonest.

Before leaving her I told her to take her pills and let the maid help her in whatever she needs. I talked and comfort her and hope she would be able to understand the need for her to rest and follow the doctor’s advice. She nodded to show that she understood what I have told her while holding my hand as if she does not want to let it go. Sadly, I have to leave her as my wife will be working the next day. At least I was happy to have visited her and hope that I would be able to visit her again, Allah willing.

Dated: 30 November 2013