A PICTURE THAT SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS Series

TO REMEMBER IS PAINFUL, TO FORGET IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Series 20

We moved to this house in May 1990. You were still attending your Pre-School then. You have your own room and we prepared all your needs for you to have your own privacy, even at a very young age. This was where you grow up to be a beautiful young girl, celebrated your birthdays every year, going through the primary and secondary schools, college, for a diploma and finally completed your university life with a degree. We are happy and proud to have done the best for you.

We decided to hand over this house to you one day, but it seems that you have made your own choice not to. You were brought up in this house; you left it with haste, leaving us in distress, without any news for more than 10 months now. We are sure you did this with regrets; we just know you, being with and love you for almost all your life, and what you did is not you in body or mind. By time, if you felt guilty to what you have done, do not blame others but look back at your own true self and make the best decision there is.

To recall all the sweet memories from the 20-plus years when we were together is just impossible. It’s not to say that everything were all perfect during those years. We are always open and whatever problems there was were discussed and settled amicably either as a friend or parent or as a family.

I wrote all these articles to express what I personally feel, and posted it by this blog, the only media that would reach you, I hope. It was, the least, to remind you as you are, a cute and lovely girl growing up with our care and love. We hope you too would remember all the sweet memories when we were together, living happily in this “home, sweet home”, unless you felt otherwise.

I do think it’s about time for you, as a daughter consider seeing, talking and patching up with the only person who loves you most, physically and spiritually, your MAMA, the sweet name that you used to call her with. Do not take too long a time to make your move, you have to start from somewhere, so start the ball rolling now, the sooner the better, and please be a good listener. I used to say to you that saying sorry should not be done periodically or during festive seasons only, do it anytime when there is a need to, I did, don’t I?. This process of reconciliation may take a while, much longer than you might expect, a lot of patience and guts for it to happen into a reality, and do remember, respect the hierarchy and you should know your own self as a daughter. You must try to solve this issue alone, don’t let any third party to participate in the process yet, not at this moment, not until everything is back to normal. Do trust in me.

This is my sincere advice to you personally, as an old man, a by-stander or may be as “abah” as you used to call me. I have nothing else to offer except what I have written, and hope you would understand my feelings towards you and my intention will not be misunderstood. I hope whatever I wrote does not falls on deaf ears. You’re old and matured enough to make your choice, between right and wrong, good or bad, love and hate and whatever you may think of. Believe me; you can do it, respectfully. Think wisely, for your own good and your own future. You are not going to lock yourself away from the truth forever, with guilt and regrets all your life, with tears in your eyes thinking why, how, when etc and it will certainly interfere you and your daily life. Remember, whenever you’re sick, or need something urgently, or just anything that need her attention, she was always there for you, anytime, yesterday, tomorrow and forever, sacrifices herself for you; don’t you remember any of these? Now is the time for you to sacrifice yourself for her, to show that you too love her very much, not to repay back what she had done, but do it as your responsibility. There are always lights behind the dark clouds, they say.

As mentioned in my article earlier, when the time is right, we will be leaving this home together with all the memories, sweet or not. This home is not cheerful anymore; the bitter memories are haunting us almost daily. We have no other alternative, not at this moment, except that the decision is final. I hope you have read and understood those articles I published for the past few months. I have said what I wanted to say, maybe not all. I personally hope you would take all advises and comments positively.

This is the LAST episode of my 20-Series articles for this “Season”. If I want to continue writing, may be I have to start off with “Season 2”! At the moment, I just want to let it be, until I feel its worthwhile doing it!

Assalamualaikum, wbk. May Allah bless you.
Some say you are too painful to remember, I say you are too PRECIOUS to forget!

Wishing you for a Happy Ramadhan (No more daily “Tea-O”), a Happy Adil-Fithri (No more hugs or “Ang-pows”), and whatever that follows, for which we won’t be expecting it anymore.

A PICTURE THAT SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS Series

TO REMEMBER IS PAINFUL, TO FORGET IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Series 19

What is this? Oh what a memory!
You were about 4 years old when asked to go down to buy the newspaper. I looked around to make sure you were safe but I did not see you going to the newspaper’s stand. I checked and found you were still on the stairway, stunned and looking at this dead cockroach on your path, standing still, not moving an inch! Then only I knew that you are really repugnance on seeing any species of insects, especially cockroaches.

On your day out with your pre-school class to visit the Zoo, I have to write a letter to your teacher about how you would react whenever you see any insect no matter how small it is.

Whenever you were in your room or when you were going to bed, your eyes would wonder around to see whether there is any insect, be it crawling or flying in the room. If there is, you would shout for help, no matter what time it was and you would even stand on your bed. As usual I would always attend to it and you wanted to see to make sure that its killed or disposed off, if not you will not be satisfied and still wondering if it is still in the room. We used to place an insect repellent in your room, but if you were to use it, you would spray these insects until its wet and to make sure that it’s dead. I always reminded you not to spray the whole can!

Anytime you saw any insects in the house, I would always be your shield, which sometime we would laugh on seeing how you react! I used to say to you that the insects were too small compared to you, despite that, you still lose!